Flicker Page 2

  "Thank you, guys, so much," I said and pulled them each to me with a one-armed hug, kissing both of them on the cheek.

  I finished my pizza and another beer then snuggled down under the covers next to Gavin. The lack of eating most of the day combined with the quick intake of alcohol made my head swim. I steadied myself on Gavin’s shoulder to avoid falling sideways into a snoozing Jilsey and giggled at her absurd sleeping position: facedown with her pillow over her head and her blanket only covering her feet. Gavin shot me a strange look and yanked me into his lap.

  “Shhh, you’re going to wake her up, and she’s gonna start baking. You don’t know what I had to do to make her step away from the oven earlier,” he whispered into my ear, only making me laugh harder and snort, which, of course, made me laugh even harder.

  “I thought you put the baby lock on the oven door so she couldn’t get it open when she was drinking?” I asked between breaths.

  “I did, she sawed it off with a steak knife and put it in my bed,” he said, laughing quietly.

  “I don’t know if I told you this lately, but you’re awesome. I’m a lucky girl,” I said finally, snuggling into his chest.

  “True.” He smirked as he slid the rest of the way down onto the floor next to me. “But we’re pretty lucky, too.”

  “True,” I said, throwing his statement back at him and grinning. “This was a great New Year’s. Thank you again, for setting all this up.”

  “Yeah,” he said, propping his head up on my pillow. “Too bad you weren’t there at midnight. I had my New Year’s kiss all planned out.”

  “Well, unless you kissed someone else,” I said, emboldened by the alcohol coursing through my veins, “it’s not too late.”

  Taking his cue, he cupped my face in his hand, gently brushing his thumb back and forth over my skin. He slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to…my cheek.

  “Happy New Year, Lina.”

  “That was weak, Hollow,” I said.

  “Yeah, I guess it was.” He rolled to his back and switched off the TV. “Maybe next time you’ll remember you have plans and leave work on time.”

  Touché.

  Not wanting to let him off that easy, I rolled over and straddled his waist, ran my hands up his chest to his face. In a motion too graceful for my tipsy state, I pressed my torso flush against him and brushed my lips over his.

  “You’re not playing fair,” he murmured, and rolled us so he was on top.

  “Your point, Officer Hollow?” I trailed my lips along his jaw and was rewarded with his Adam’s apple moving hard, once.

  “My point is that you made a promise you would go out with us tonight.” He moved back to his side of our makeshift bed. “And you broke that promise. Again. Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight,” I sighed.

  If there was one thing I was better at than work, it seemed to be breaking promises—for work.

  The aroma of freshly brewed French roast wafted into the living room. The sun was out, so I knew I had slept in. Usually, I was up by five a.m. on workdays, and not long after that on the weekends.

  Gavin's arm tightened around me. My head was resting on his bare chest and one of my legs stretched across his body. Clatter from the kitchen indicated Jils was already awake. Hence, the source of the coffee.

  The clock above the fireplace told me it was noon. Noon! I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept past eight! I gently slid out of Gavin's arms so as to not wake him, dropped a quick kiss on his cheek, and headed to the kitchen. Jils was at the stove, pouring pancake batter onto the griddle.

  “Morning,”

  “Morning,” Jilsey grumbled.

  Though she was normally a ray of sunshine, hungover Jilsey was a little bit of a grouch. She hadn't gotten dressed yet, so she was just in a shirt and her underwear. It was one of the things I loved about living with them; we were so comfortable around each other that pants were optional.

  After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I took a seat at the breakfast bar of our eat-in kitchen. We had a formal dining room but rarely, if ever, used it. Finishing the pancakes, she set them on the island and took the stool across from me. We sat in silence while we finished our coffee. The smell of food and coffee roused Gavin from his blanket cocoon in the living room.

  "Good morning, ladies," he said, coming to sit beside me. He grabbed a plate and piled it with pancakes. Seeing that all I had in front of me was a cup of coffee, he picked up another plate and set it in front of me. "You should eat."

  They worried too much about me. I ate. I didn't have an eating disorder. But I’d get busy with work and sometimes go the whole day without eating, and then be too tired to bother when I got home. Humoring him, I added four pancakes to my empty plate and smothered them in syrup before taking a giant bite, closing my eyes, and humming for dramatic effect. Satisfied, Gavin began eating his own breakfast.

  After we all finished, Jilsey tossed us each a legal pad and a pen. This was our fourth annual New Year’s resolution scribing, a tradition we’d started our first year together. We’d each list three personal goals for the new year, and then add one to each other’s lists. Last year my resolutions were: get promoted (check), go to the gym more (not so much), and eat healthier (if eating less is healthier then check). Jilsey's suggestion was 'get laid' (no time, sorry, Jils) which went well with Gavin's suggestion of 'relax' (sure, sweetie).

  Each of us hunched over our legal pads. What do I need to do this year? I needed to paint the third floor bathroom. I’d honestly do more harm than good in there. I spent so much time on work that getting promoted was my defining moment in life at this point—how could I top that? Scouring my brain, I finally wrote:

  Spearhead new exhibit for museum

  Learn to cook

  Get a tattoo

  Smiling in satisfaction, I looked up to see Jils and Gavin waiting on me, their lists complete. We each passed our pads to the left and began adding our goal to each other's list.

  Gavin’s resolutions were:

  •Run 365 miles

  •Call Mom and Dad every Sunday

  •Go for it

  Well, he could have fun with all of his running. I would not be partaking in that venture. Calling his parents every week would make them happy, especially his mother. ‘Go for it.’ Go for what? Whatever it was, he’d already done it, so I wasn’t even sure it still counted as a resolution. I decided not to mention it, though. Instead, I added:

  •Finish 3rd floor

  We’ve been getting around to finishing it since we moved in so Jilsey could rent it out, but our renovation mojo ran out rather quickly.

  I passed Gavin’s to Jilsey and moved on to hers.

  •Take a vacation

  •Try Zumba or kickboxing

  •Let hair grow out

  Again, she could have fun with her kickboxing or Zumba. A vacation would do her some good; she hadn’t seen her parents in forever. As much as she got on to me about being overworked and underpaid, she was a nurse, the very definition of that. That last one wouldn’t last six months. She hated long hair. I’d seen it shoulder length once and she’d always kept it pulled up. To hers, I added:

  •Apply for L&D position

  She was a trauma nurse but really wanted to work in labor and delivery. She had the opportunity for a promotion last year and passed on applying for it. For as confident as she was in most aspects of her life, she was rather reserved professionally.

  Getting mine back, I flipped it over to see what my roomies had added to the New Year Lina list. I had expected something along the same lines of last year. I was sorely mistaken.

  Work less—Jilsey

  Have dinner with me—Gavin

  Jils’ suggestion, I guessed, was expected, especially after last night. Gavin's, on the other hand, completely threw me. I mean, we had dinner together all the time. The three of us didn’t have the same work schedule, so there were many nights when it was just Gavin and myself for dinner. But I
knew that was not what he’d meant. He meant dinner.

  Gavin and I had skirted around this for a while. I’d wanted something more than the flirty, sometimes kissy thing we had going on. Gavin, on the other hand, was always reluctant to let it go further than that. We were roommates, after all, what if things didn’t work out? One of us would have to move, or we’d have to find a way to deal with the post-breakup awkwardness. Regardless, our easy dynamic would change if things didn’t go smoothly for us.

  I didn't have to stew in my awkwardness for long. Gavin stood and announced that he had to work the two-to-midnight shift and needed to get ready. He got up from the island, put his plate in the sink, and left the room. I went to start on the dishes, but Jilsey shooed me out of the kitchen, telling me to take a bubble bath and enjoy my day off from work.

  Lina 2

  I ran myself a bubble bath in the girls’ bathroom. We had two bathrooms on the second floor, one with a giant old-fashioned clawfoot tub with a retractable showerhead from the ceiling, a double vanity with two sinks, and a giant stained glass window depicting a woman reaching for her lover, their hands inches apart. The former owners had decorated it beautifully in an early nineteen hundreds style. Gavin's more modern bathroom sported a frosted-glass stand-up shower with black marble covering the counter and walls. Simple and masculine.

  After adding some of Jilsey's chamomile and lavender bubbles to the bath, I sank to my chin in the tub. As the hot water relaxed my muscles, I leaned my head against the lip of the tub, trying to clear my mind. I focused on Enya playing in the background, willing her voice to take over my thoughts. It wasn't happening. All I could think about was work and Gavin.

  Before we’d started the catacombs, we had just received an exhibit on loan from the Smithsonian. THE SMITHSONIAN! It was an Abraham Lincoln exhibit featuring artifacts from his childhood home, the time he was in the White House, and possessions of Mary Todd Lincoln’s. I had studied this subject thoroughly. Early American History was my focus in college. If I could find enough time I knew, knew I could put the exhibit together flawlessly. That was the defining moment for any curator—which I planned to one day be—for your work to be on display for everyone to view, learn from, and to be consumed by.

  The front door slammed, jolting me from my daydream. Examining my fingers, I saw that they were indeed prunes, and my body was well relaxed. I got up from the tub, wrapping myself in a plush red robe, and headed to my room. I sat on the edge of my bed and lay straight back, my feet still almost hitting the floor, and blew out a deep breath.

  I couldn’t remember the last time that I’d had the whole house to myself for any length of time. Usually, it was a couple of hours. Tops. Definitely never a whole day.

  A soft knock rapped against my door, before Jilsey, without waiting for an answer, walked in. The bed dipped as she lay down, dressed in her blue scrubs, her badge and stethoscope hanging from her neck. We lay there in comfortable silence for some time, before Jilsey finally spoke.

  "What are you going to do about Gavin?" she asked, turning her head my direction.

  "When did he tell you?" I was avoiding her question and silently thankful that she couldn’t see the nervous twisting of my stomach. It would figure that Gavin had asked her opinion before doing it. She was his only “dude” friend who wasn't also a co-worker.

  "About four months ago," she said, laughing. “I can’t believe it took him this long to say something to you.”

  "What should I do, Jils?" I asked. Despite my feelings for Gavin, I was nervous about changing things. Maybe he had been right, stuff could get messy if it didn’t work out. I didn’t want to lose his friendship.

  “I thought you wanted this?” she asked gently.

  “I did. Do. I do want this. I just wish I knew why he had a change of heart.” At no point had he given me any indication that he wanted more. If anything, it had felt like he was pulling away.

  “He’s twenty-five, Lina.” She laughed. “It’s about time he at least considers a relationship that doesn’t involve the walk of shame by one or both parties the next morning.”

  “I’ve never taken the walk of shame,” I grumbled. “You can’t make the walk of shame in your own house.”

  “Right…” She patted my leg and got up to leave. “What is really gonna be different? “

  “Everything,” I whined. “Nothing. I don’t know.”

  She gave me a look and left. The conversation with her had actually helped ease my nerves a little. Nothing was going to change with us, only our title. I wanted this and had expressed as much to Jilsey on several occasions. She’d better have kept her mouth shut, too.

  After I was assured that I was alone, I got dressed and headed downstairs in search of something to occupy my time. I wandered around the living room, folding our blankets and resetting the coffee table. The kitchen was spotless, thanks to Jils. Turning to leave, I noticed the grocery list on the refrigerator. Grocery shopping was relaxing, right? Jilsey and Gavin usually did it, since they did the cooking. But I could follow a list as well as the next person.

  I followed the walkway path around the house to our backyard garage and punched in our code. The garage door rose to reveal Gavin's Charger. He drove his cruiser when he worked, and he left his keys in case we needed his car while he was gone. Jilsey had her own car, so really he left the keys for me, though I rarely used it. I adjusted the comfortable leather seat to fit my five-zip legs. Gavin was well over six-feet tall and had the seat pushed almost all the way back.

  After carefully maneuvering my way out of our driveway, I headed to Kroger. Saebo was a pretty easy town to navigate, given a lot of our roads were one-way. Most of the main streets led to the center of our city, which was where the museum was located, the roads fanning out like a pinwheel. Shopping list at the ready, I parked the car and headed into the fluorescent-lit supermarket.

  On my way to check out, I stopped at the flower station, eyeing the bouquets of poinsettias and holly branches. Grabbing two, I headed to the register, tossing a couple candy bars on the belt as I stood in line. After checking out, I loaded Gavin's trunk with the groceries, keeping the flowers and candy in the front seat with me.

  Though I knew I shouldn’t, I took a detour down Main Street to check on the museum. I was just going to look. Just to make sure it was okay. I knew Seline said to take the day off, but I had also seen this woman six days a week for the past three years and knew that she didn't take time off. Even when she had strep throat, she made me set up Skype in the museum so she could monitor visitor activity.

  Sure enough, her car was there, parked in one of the reserved spots. Naturally, I wanted to park the car and run to help her with whatever it was that she was doing. But with groceries in the trunk, that proved problematic. I had also promised Gavin and Jilsey that I would enjoy my day and relax. I chewed my bottom lip as I thought of a way to rationalize this. Maybe if I took some work home…would that count? Working in sweat pants wasn't really working, right? Or...I could go into work for a little while and just make sure I got home before them. Gavin was out until midnight, and Jilsey would be gone until two a.m. It was only after four; I could run in and stay until just around ten.

  I’d make it nine, since I was supposed to be relaxing.

  Arriving home, I pulled the car neatly into the garage and unloaded the groceries. I arranged each bouquet in a vase and set the candy bars in front of them on the counter. I grabbed the pack of sticky notes off the counter and wrote a quick note for each of them.

  My mind went back to Gavin’s request. Could I really do this with him? I felt like it had bad idea written all over it. There were so many things that could go wrong. But, on the other hand, what would really change? We were, in fact, already dating, sort of. Gavin was nice, generous, funny, and attractive—all the things that girls looked for. If I thought about this much longer, I was going to give myself a nosebleed. Throwing caution to the wind, I checked Gavin’s schedule on the fridge for his next
evening off and quickly wrote Oasis, Wednesday, 6:30 on a sticky note. There. I liked this spontaneity thing. If I didn't give myself time to think about things, I couldn't change my mind. Look at me, first day of the New Year, and I was already making changes. If I had any rhythm in my body, I would dance. Instead, I settled with raising the roof on my way out.

  After locking the door behind me, I headed toward the museum. We lived about four blocks away, and I enjoyed the walk. After spending hours indoors, it was nice to get some fresh air in your system. The sidewalks were just as slick as they were last night, and it had started snowing. By the time I climbed the stairs of the old courthouse that the museum inhabited, there was a fine dusting of white covering the lawn.

  I unlocked the heavy glass doors and quickly turned off the entry alarm. My footsteps echoed through the empty halls as I headed to my desk. A door slammed somewhere around the corner and I almost hit the ceiling.

  "Oh, Jesus Christ, Seline, you scared the hell out of me," I said, as she rounded the corner, my heart still pounding in residual fear.

  "I scared you? What are you even doing here? I thought I told you to take the day off?" She set her hands on her black-clad hips, giving me a stern look that could scare grown men.

  "You said, 'I suppose we should take the day off as well'," I quoted. "You didn't tell me to take the day off. You also insinuated that we would both not be here. But there I was, simply on my way home from grocery shopping, and what do I see? Your car. I had to stop in."

  “I have nothing to do today,” she countered. “Go spend some time with Jilsey and Gavin.”

  “They’re both working today.” I frowned. “It was the trade-off for not working on Christmas.”

  "Is there any chance of me convincing you to go home?" she asked.

  "Nope."

  "Well, then, I guess you can come help me finish the inventory in the office. We have been so preoccupied with the catacombs that we are extremely behind," she said, turning and striding down the hall.